In 2010 I had the opportunity to join a 2 year course in Antropomusic in São Paulo, Brazil. I would study music in the point of view of Rudolf Steiner, creator of the Antroposophic Science. While studying topics like Sacred Geometry, the Golden Session, the Music of the Spheres and the laws behind resonance, I was impressed by an experiment that changed the way I fetl life, everything that has a pulse, a frequency. I remember witnessing a well tuned cello being played while another one, placed close to the first one, started to play on its own, with no single hand touching it… the second cello was resonating the first one that has actually being played, like answering it.
Our thoughts, emotions, actions, they all have a frequency that vibrates and wakes up harmonics in everything that surround us. It became visually clear to me the fact that, more then victims, we are actually acting like Maestros conducting the orchestra called our lives. The song we play innerly, be it with the frequency of our thoughts or emotions will be answered by living beings playing their own songs in the same frequency as ours. Basically speaking, If we think pink, we attract pink. We emanate pink frequencies that will make other pink frequencies respond to us, hence, connecting to us. As a Maestro of my life, I've learned I would never be able to change my environment, but myself. It does not help wishing people to “play” a whole song in, lets say C major, if we keep tuning the instruments in F minor.
Tired of seeing myself trapped in a labyrinth with no obvious answers, I’ve turned inwards diving into the dark waters of my body. I started this journey by studying and practicing different therapies that helped me be in the present moment, connected to my body. Our mind can be everywhere… the only thing that can always and actually only be in the here and now is our physic body. By practicing and studying things like Qi Qing, Yoga, Werbeck Singing, Continuum Movement, researching Somatic Experience by Peter Levine, the Polivagal Theory by Stephen Porges, Psycoyinthesis by Roberto Assagioli and finally Systemic Constllation, I experienced the importance of paying attention to what my body was saying. I did not have the answers for most of the things/traumas that happened to me in the past, but I do have my body as a constant compass. I knew that if I could make peace with my body and turn it into an ally, a safe place to be, I would find lots of answers. Whenever I feel myself landing in my body I do not only feel my roots, but I can also feel connected to everything around me. All my cells vibrate, awakening the wisdom they have to tell me, hence awakening the truth from the environment. I believe Jung would call this Sincronicity.
By that time I decided to acquire a big mirror able to show me when I was/am connected or not to my body, my essence; if I am being genuine or trapped in the illusion of my thoughts. This mirror was called Galadriel, my first horse. Being told I should give up on her, since she was a naughty horse, I started to study Horse Ethology, Connection Training and Trust Technique. I now know that there are no naughty horses. I was lucky to choose a horse that, instead of letting me use my power over her, she had the patience to let me work with my inner power. A power that does not look for distractions in order to find relief in controlling things. No, not this one. I had to find the power to go the path towards my centre. A path where I would meet my deepest fears, but also profound peace. Galadriel was unconditionally patient with my mistakes till we slowly developed a relationship rooted in mutual trust and real connection. The beauty of this work consists in finding an inner place where we can stay genuine, present inside ourselves but also connecting to the others. There is no way to truly connect to others if we do not connect to ourselves.